Clarity
by we-dont-need-to-touch
Summary: Haunted by her icy powers, Elsa has lived her 20 years of life locked away in her room convinced that she is a monster. Fed up with trying to keep their daughter's snowy episodes in check in sunny California, her parents send her off to college in Canada, in hopes that her power will remain hidden. What will occur when her clarity is found in the most unlikely of people?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone!**

**This is my first Frozen fan fiction and I've had this idea for a while so I'm finally bringing it to life.**** (Please be gentle with meeee)** I decided to post the first 6 chapters to see the response before continuing so if you like it please don't hesitate to comment. Just a few things before you start. 

**Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen or it's characters... I'm just borrowing them for my amusement ;)**

**Pairing: Elsanna (Non incestuous)**

**Warnings: None so far. Just a bit of angst.**

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_Click._ Nothing. _Click_. Nothing. _Click_. Still nothing.

"Elsa?" the muffled voice questioned, attempting to break through both the static noises of the unreceptive radio and my intense fixation on getting it to work. Dammit! Not a single station would work.  
"Elsa!" the voice was much louder, pulling me from my activity. "Are you even listening to me?"  
It was the voice of my brother, Kristoff. I'd almost forgotten he was driving me, consumed in my own thoughts.  
"Sorry," I breathed. "I was distracted I guess..."  
"No use playing with the radio you know my truck is crap."  
"If it was crap don't you think we would have broken down days ago?"

He smiled at me for a moment before letting the low static buzzing of the radio fill the space between us again. I pressed my cheek against the window and began examining the scene ahead of us. We were currently on a long winding road somewhere in what appeared to be the countryside of Canada. Everything was perfectly decorated in layers of white snow. It was beautiful and I tried to think happy thoughts as I gazed at the spectacle. You'd think I would be ecstatic to finally be where I belonged.

I could never hide anything from Kristoff, he always knew exactly how I was feeling before I could even look remotely troubled. I could feel his eyes on me as I tried to cover my hands by pushing them in the pockets of my hoodie.

"Don't you think it's a little under negative degrees already without you freezing my car too?" He joked.

"I..."

He interrupted me before I could even get a word out "Don't worry so much," he put one hand on my clasped ones, "this weather should make everything a lot less obvious anyway."

His words stung and I flinched at them. Oh yes, less obvious so our dear parents won't have to worry about their freak daughter causing a blizzard or freezing the house, and even if she does, that stuff happens in Canada all the time right?

"Wait... No, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that," he stammered, a light bulb clearly going off in his head. "Goddammit, I sound just like them now!" he looked genuinely frustrated with himself. I knew how strongly he felt about our parents and how much he questioned their motives, no matter the case.

"No, it's ok I know what you meant," I didn't have the heart to be upset at him, when he was quite possibly the only the person in the world I was certain I loved.

I've had ice powers my entire life and I've never learned to control them. My childhood consisted of my parents trying to contain me and now that it's time for me to go off to college I just know they're relieved to be rid of me for a while. It was no shock to me when my parents pushed every single school located in frigid temperatures on to me to apply to, and you could just imagine they're excitement when I got accepted to them all. I was very grateful when Kristoff volunteered to drive me when I picked the University of Toronto. I could always count on him.

"I really am sorry though, I don't want you to look at me like how you look at them." Kristoff insisted.

"It's ok, trust me. I would never." I clasped my hands closer together trying my best to ignore the little ice shards I was producing.  
There was an awkward silence after that, but I was hoping Kristoff would just leave it that way.

"How are you holding up?" he asked after a minute or two.  
_There goes my silence…_  
"I'm hanging on." I reply.  
"You're nervous," it was a statement, not a question.  
"A little…" I admitted.  
"Try a lot. You're fingers are making shards like crazy," He glanced at my hands.  
Suddenly feeling very self-conscious I pushed them further into my hoodie pockets. Another sucky feature to my powers, my emotions reflect in them. You can always tell how I'm feeling by the temperature or what I produce outside of my control. When I'm angry I can make blizzards or when I'm sad the temperature drops among other things. Fear is probably the most dangerous of all my moods.  
"Well I've never been away from home like this before, you know."  
"I guess so..." He looked at me like he wanted to say more but I suppose something about my expression begged him to just let the silence be.

Kristoff and I arrived at the neighborhood I'd be staying at 2 hours later and I was pleasantly surprised at the look of the place. Houses were spread fairly nicely apart and separated by little brown picket fences. There weren't any swings or playgrounds around which led me to believe the neighborhood was of fairly older demographic and I took comfort in it. Children can be loud and I feel more apprehensive around them. I was grateful my parents rented a house for me rather than having me live on campus, I didn't need to ask them, it was already arranged before I could even worry about it. I'm sure you could guess why they were so hasty with their decisions.

I could feel Kristoff stiffen in the driver's seat as we pulled into the driveway of my new home and I tried my best to ignore the lump in my throat. The house was nothing much to look at on the outside, the whole block looked the same or maybe it only appeared that way since all the roofs and yards were covered in a frosty blanket. Kristoff didn't bother to open the garage and we stepped out of the car for the first time in hours, it felt good to stretch my legs again and the frigid air hitting my face felt natural and soothing. My brother on the other hand looked uncomfortable and pulled his parka over his head before quickly taking my lone suitcase from the car and waving his hand at me urgently, motioning for me to get inside. I followed him to the door and he opened it with the key my parents gave him, whilst they were instructing him days prior to our little adventure.

"Oh Wow, that was cold!" he exclaimed once we were inside.  
"Actually I found it rather welcoming," I teased. It was better to keep the mood light for his sake. He gave me a sarcastic little laugh before switching his expression back to that of an uncomfortable one.  
"Ok, ok!" he said rather boisterously bouncing in place "Now I need to figure out where the bathroom is! I've gotta take a leak like you wouldn't believe! Ah geez!"  
I couldn't help but laughed at his stance, A rather hefty 19 year old hovering a whole 8 inches taller than myself, hopping around and voicing his bathroom needs like he was 5 years old.  
"Well don't ask me," I giggled "I just got here too!"

He didn't stick around for me to continue teasing him and rushed upstairs. I could hear 2 doors open and close rather abruptly accompanied with his heavy steps before there was silence. It was then I noticed for the first time that the house was fully furnished. There was a rather large icy blue colored couch in the living room facing a fancy looking flat screen, though I hardly saw the necessity of it. I wouldn't be keeping guests nor did I find any use in television. The kitchen and living room were connected separated only by a marble countertop which boxed in the kitchen utilities and next to it lay a small square dining table with four chairs tucked neatly under it. I observed the kitchen and saw somehow my parents had already arranged for it to be stocked with all sorts of foods so I was all sorted there. I walked slowly around the downstairs discovering new little things that my parents must have picked out with every step, a large Chinese vase with fake flowers – probably my mother's idea- stood in a corner while a medium sized fire place stood a few feet away from the dining table. There was a powder room close to the staircase and the backdoor was a sliding glass door, you could see the backyard in its entirety through it and it had large dark blue curtains that I could pull over it. In fact all the windows had dark curtains too, this comforted me. No one could see in or out with those things.

I heard Kristoff's clunky feet coming down the stairs so I made my way over to him as he descended.  
"This house is nice at least," he said, rolling his eyes.  
"Yes, it's cozy," I nodded forcing a smile.  
It was no use, Kristoff saw right through it looking down at me with concerned eyes. I tried to fight looking him straight in the eyes but he took my frosting hand and gave it a squeeze. How was I going to manage when he left me tomorrow?

"Look Elsa, I'm not gonna come with this 'everything is gonna be ok' crap, because I know you'll be fine. But I do want to tell you that I think that this- what's happening here right now… is bullshit."

I really didn't have the strength to have this conversation with him, but when else could we have it?

"It's for the best Kris, you know that" I tried to sound convincing.

"No, you know better than anyone that this is just because our parents don't want to deal with this anymore. And you know what? It's wrong!" his voice became louder with every word. "You're their daughter and they are basically dumping you off somewhere because they've decided they don't want to help you control your powers anymore. It's selfish is what it is."

"I'm going to college Kristoff. It's not like I've been kicked to the curve" I tried my best to sound convincing though I wasn't sure I even believed my own words.

"It's just perfect timing is what it is." he muttered bitterly. "Don't even pretend this wouldn't have happened sooner if that stupid-"

"Enough!" I said, it wasn't loud but it was firm enough to let him know I meant it. It wasn't worth it to allow myself to get angry.

His expression immediately softened and he put his hand on my shoulder. "Ok," he breathed.

"I don't want to fight," I tell him "I just want to enjoy your company before you have to leave me."

"Whatever you want." He said sadly before removing his arm and sitting on the couch.

I didn't bother to start unpacking yet and just left my suitcase in the stairs closet. Kristoff and I spent the rest of the day watching sports on the TV. It didn't interest me much but I knew my brother enjoyed it so I left it up to him. We were still on the couch when it started to get dark, I didn't know what time it was but I didn't care to look, or maybe I just didn't want to know how many hours I had left with him and this quite possibly could be the last time I'd have any human contact again in a very long time. I knew it was better that way and I was used to it, but I felt the upcoming solitude would be like non other I'd ever experienced. My brother and I never got to spend that much time together up until a few years ago and now I was losing him again. I didn't want to think about it… so instead I just shut my eyes. Behind my closed lids it appeared nothing could hurt me.

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**Well if this is as far as you'll go let me know by reviewing and sending me a message on my tumblr:**

**username: we-dont-need-to-touch**

**(Just a little warning: That tumblr is a second account for the purpose of my nosey ass friends not knowing what I do. so responses MIGHT be delayed)**

**If you wanna keep going there's 5 more chapters! **

**Thanks a bunch if you ever read the first part!**

**333**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well look at you actually about to read chapter 2! IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!**

**Sorry if it's seeming slow. *sings* I just wanna take it nice and sloooooowwww!**

**Well here ya go!**

**Disclaimer : Still don't own Frozen or it's characters but if you wanna call up Disney and buy them for me I'd appreciate it. ;)**

**Warnings: Still None**

**Enjoy!**

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I wanted to curse when the sun woke me streaming in uninvited through the windows. I wasn't ready for this day. I rose slowly careful not to wake Kristoff who had fallen asleep on the couch beside me as well. I secretly wished he'd just stay there and sleep the day away and never go home. Even if we never spoke it would have been nice just knowing someone else was here.

It didn't take long for him to get up much to my despair and he wasted no time getting ready to hit the road again. He seemed a tad on edge, cursing when his boots wouldn't go on right away. I only hoped he would be fine to drive in his current state of mind. I didn't even need to ask why he was upset. He always had a strained relationship with my parents because he didn't like the way they handled a lot of situations with me but most of all he hated how they separated us. I could tell he couldn't wait to get home to tell them off, but what was the use of it really? He was just finishing some cereal when I decided to start intervening

"Kris... I really hope you aren't planning on causing a scene at home," I warned him.

"That's exactly what I'm going to do," he said in a most unremorseful tone.

"Seriously don't..."

He cut me off before I could finish speaking clamping his hand down hard on the table he was sitting at. "There's nothing you can say to stop me Elsa! I don't care how nice this place is or what they've given you it's all just a hoax because they want to get rid of you. And I hate them for it. They've taken away my only sibling. I hate them." He spoke through gritted teeth never looking up at me.

I could see how worked up he was getting and that was the last thing I wanted so I moved towards him to offer some comfort. "Kristoff, you don't hate them. Remember you're their son and they love you. Don't think about all that."

"And remember I'm your brother and I love you. What about you? Who stands up for you?" He swallowed hard careful not to look me in the eyes. I knew he was trying to be strong for me.

I didn't bother to answer instead I pulled him from the chair and hugged him. We stood like that for a long time and I felt his chest moving unevenly when he buried his face into my shoulder sobbing, "I'm going to miss you so much" he whispered.

I held back tears. "I'm going to miss you too."

It wasn't long until I was saying my goodbyes to him standing next to his truck for almost an hour as he lectured me about strangers and that he's just a call away. When he finally shut up, I spent a few minutes reinforcing to him not to cause a scene with our parents and that I'd be fine and that I loved him.

Watching him drive off till I couldn't see him anymore was hard but I refused to let myself cry, I could feel my fingertips tingling as my emotions tried to process what was happening. _Distraction. I need a distraction.  
_  
Suddenly it began to snow lightly and I couldn't tell whether it was my doing or not. The uncertainty wasn't helping, if anything it was making me feel more apprehensive. Sure it would be easier to hide behind the country's natural climate as an excuse for unexplained disturbances but for how long? I needed to get inside.  
I turned on my heels and began walking towards my door when I heard a car coming in my direction. _Did Kristoff forget something?_ I was hopeful but the car passed me and drove into the driveway right next door to my home. _Oh shit I forgot about neighbors._ I glanced at the car and could make out two people sitting inside getting ready to step out. A tall lean man with chestnut hair stepped out of the car in a heavy winter coat and gloves, he hurried to the passenger side and opened it. I couldn't make out any features of the person but I assumed it was his partner.

I was in no mood for introductions or small talk about trivial things like where I'm from or if I had any sugar they could borrow or whatever it is neighbors talk about. So I hurried inside before they could spot me. We had no neighbors in Santa Monica where I lived my whole life with my parents and Kristoff, my parents owned a large chunk of land and they built their dream house and a ranch for us in the more rural area of the city. I didn't have much experience with how to socialize as I was homeschooled for most of my life. My parents pulled me out when I was 5 because I accidentally caused a small snowstorm when a boy pulled on my braid and called me names. No one ever knew it was my fault but it was all over the news, that small snowstorm. I wish I could say that was the first time I made it snow in California... but it wasn't. Sometimes I could make it spread to Nevada when I felt angry or sad enough. I never did any of it on purpose though, it was complicated, but after a while my parents lost their patience. Instead of talking me down with soothing words they were firm and scolded me like I had thrown a tantrum or been rude, when I'd usually only be crying locked in my room. They'd raise their voices at me and say, "Stop acting like a child and stop the weather". I was a child then and I didn't know how to stop it.

I dragged my feet as I moved around the house checking that all the curtains were closed tightly, while I was glad my parents hired the movers to set up everything for me I now wished there was something for me to do. I tried to keep myself as occupied as possible rearranging the already beautifully arranged flower vases, dusting the perfectly clean polished furniture. I almost took the vacuum out of the stair closet until I saw my suitcase in there and remembered I still had packing to do. Finally a task. I pulled my suitcase up the stairs noisily struggling to get it up them as it was extremely heavy. I felt drained by the time I had brought into to my bedroom and forced it on top of my bed. This was the first time I'd had a proper look at my bedroom. It was a little smaller than my room back at home though it had the same familiar design, purple walls, light purple sheets, purple rug. The dressers were wooden but in a nice dark shade that complimented the walls, the closet was walk in and connected to my own bathroom. Most of my clothes had been shipped a month ago and they were hanging neatly in the closet and most of my shoes sitting beneath them on the floor.

I proceeded to unzip my suitcase and flip the heavy top off to examine the contents, I was taken aback when I found a picture frame I didn't remember packing sitting on top of my belongings. I picked it up slowly and turned it to reveal a picture of myself and Kristoff from my make shift "high school graduation". It was taken in our piano room and I was looking very uninterested, wearing a black robe about 4 sizes too big and a leaned black graduation hat standing on a stage made entirely out of books. Kristoff was grinning widely with his arm around my shoulder holding a certificate my tutor had given me for completing the high school curriculum in its entirety. It was taken almost 2 years ago, it was all his idea to make a pretend ceremony because he was so proud and excited for me.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, as I stared at the photo, I could live a thousand lives and never deserve my brother. I placed the frame on my dresser and smiled at it through the tears, "I wish I could promise that I'll be better soon," I whispered. I wished I could have said that to Kristoff but he'd never accept that. He'd never looked at my powers the way I did when he discovered them. But the truth was I was a monster. And monsters deserved to be

alone.

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**Thanks for still reading! Comment and Leave me a message/ask question on tumblr!**

**username : we-dont-need-to-touch**


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome anyone who read this far!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Frozen or characters. Would like to own Frozen and charahters.**

**Warnings: Nope.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_I'm going to die._  
_Someone is going to die._  
_Today is not going to pass without someone dying if they don't go away right now._

This is the third time in an hour that someone has knocked on my door. Why? This was just torturous now. I was hiding under my bed when the first knocking started and I haven't moved since then, I felt ridiculous. _You should feel that way, you're retarded._ Did I really think a short meeting with some random at my door was going to make me freeze the earth? _Yes_. No. I had to pull myself together. There were going to be times I'd have to leave my house eventually. This issue was just going to keep coming back again and again. _Get yourself together Elsa.  
_  
If I survived the mailman all those times I was left home alone I could handle this. _I think_. I pulled my shivering body out from under my bed and I placed my hands over my ears counting backwards from 10 slowly. I tried to remember all those years of therapy my parents put me through. The calming techniques, the breathing anything to get me to suppress the power I felt getting ready to explode out of me. Of course the therapists were just told I had terrible anxiety and it helped sometimes.

_Knock. Knock_.

_Christ! I don't think I have a choice, these people aren't going anywhere._ _Ok Elsa, suck it up and get down there and get rid of them right now! _My legs felt like jello as I inched towards the staircase. The knocking got louder when I got to the stairs and my heart felt like it would beat out of my chest with every step I took down them "Conceal. Don't feel it." I whispered to myself a million times as I walked cautiously towards the door. I was about to reach out for the door knob when I heard a dog bark inches from me, it scared me so much I crouched down with my hands over my ears faster than a frightened mouse. _Holy fuck, whoever that was had a dog.  
_  
I'm definitely going to die today.

"Hello?" A male voice called from the opposite side of my door "Is anyone home?"  
_No. Go away._  
"We're your new neighbors," he continued "we just wanted to welcome you"  
I hadn't gotten up from my crouching position, my god this is what it's come to, I'm scared of random neighbors now.  
"Are you sure she's in," a female voice said  
"I saw her go in yesterday and I don't think she's been out since" he answered her.  
Oh great there's two of them. And one's a stalker. Just my luck.  
"Hello!" The girl called out, "Come on! We brought you chocolate"  
...Chocolate?! Jesus fucking Christ.  
My legs sprung up before my mind could process anything and I opened the door instantly. I wasn't prepared for the spectacle standing on my doorstep.

It made me forget my anxiety as I stared at the oddest looking couple I'd ever seen. It was the man I'd seen outside yesterday. He coped a very clean shaven look and his overly jelled chestnut hair was pushed back neatly into a small pony tail, it was hilarious but I resisted laughing. The girl he had on his arm looked a little odd standing next to him as she was miles better looking with delicate features though they were mostly covered by a medium sized pair of dark sunglasses. How strange to be wearing sunglasses in this weather. Her hair was the first thing that stuck out because it was a brilliant red color like nothing I'd ever seen before, she wore her hair in braided pigtails that gave her childlike look. Every piece of clothing they had on was mismatching in color from head to toe which is what made them look so funny.

I hadn't noticed I had been staring until the girl spoke up. "Hi!" She chirped.

_Fuck. You're staring. Say something. Why'd you have to love chocolate so much? Why'd you open the door? This is all your fault. SPEAK!_  
"Uhhhhh..." My eyes were wide open taking in the sight of the circus clowns in front of me.  
"...umm are you ok?" The man said waving his hand dangerously close in front of my face.  
I jumped back slightly and snapped out of my trance.  
_Fucking say something!_  
"Oh um... Sorry!" I stammered still holding on to my door "I umm wasn't expecting anyone."  
_What kind of answer was that?! Stuuuuppiiidddd.  
_"Oh, sorry, we didn't mean to bother you," he said apologetically, "We just wanted to come over and introduce ourselves."  
"Oh how nice," I said. _Wow where'd that fake response come from Els? Good job.  
_"Hi, my name is Hans," he said giving me a sincere smile before putting his hand on the girl's shoulder "and this is my girlfriend Anna"  
Anna waved her small hand, smiling kindly at me under those sunglasses of hers.  
"Nice to meet you." I responded "I'm Elsa"  
Hans offered his hand and I pretended not to see it until he put it back down.  
"We brought you some chocolate!" Anna exclaimed pushing the box in her hands towards me.  
"Thanks," I said sounding way less enthusiastic than I should have, carefully taking the box from her.  
"You're welcome" she grinned.

There was an awkward few seconds of silence before I noticed a rather large German shepherd charging towards us.  
"OH MY GOD!" I yelled squinting my eyes preparing for the worse. I wasn't afraid of dogs exactly but I wasn't sure the intentions of this one.  
"Sit Sven" Anna commanded. And the dog came to a halt right by her side and she held onto his collar.  
"Sorry," Hans said "this is our dog Sven, we didn't mean to startle you."  
"Sven wouldn't hurt a fly" Anna insisted "we were about to take him for a walk"  
The dog panted loudly, his tongue leaking saliva on my welcome mat. _How charming._  
I attempted to stop shaking so much hiding more of myself by stepping further behind my door looking at the mutt unable to utter a word.  
The redhead moved closer to me, feeling my door oddly until she found my hand to which I reacted badly to and pulled it away with such force the girl nearly fell. Luckily her clown held her shoulders in place to keep her from doing so but my icy actions didn't stop her smile.  
"Oops! Sorry I'm so clumsy" she laughed. "Would you like to join us for a little walk with Sven? It'd be nice and we could get to know each other and we -"  
I stopped her mid-sentence, my eyes widening in fear at her invitation.  
"No, no. I mean no thank you but maybe some other time. I'm still getting moved in," I was only half lying to them but it was worth it if it meant they'd leave. Social interaction in my current state of mind? It was suicide.

It appeared my rejection had no effect on her cheerful disposition and she held out her hand and the clown quickly grasped it.  
"Ok," she said "let us know if you're ever up for it."

"Of course." I managed to choke out. _Try never._

"It was nice meeting you, Elsa" Hans said as he turned Anna and the dog around leading her out of my yard and over to theirs.

_Geez. Can't you be normal for 5 seconds?!_

I locked my door tightly and sighed loudly before I slid down against the door until I hit the ground. I buried my face into my knees and took long slow breaths. The chocolate lay forgotten on a table I tossed it on moments ago. I couldn't believe I was having an anxiety attack over such a simple greeting. I looked up to see my whole downstairs was frozen over. I must have been unconsciously icing it in my stressed state, whilst meeting Hans and Anna.  
"GODDAMMIT!" I yelled_. How long until this thawed now?_ I could never get things to unfreeze, they usually thawed themselves after time but my parents took to a different approach. I looked in my stair closet to see if they'd stocked me with their method. They had. I saw ten flamethrowers lined up neatly inside the closet. God help me if someone ever raided this house they'd think I was mental... But then again I am kind of mental if I froze my whole downstairs just because I had to talk to people for 5 minutes. I shut the closet door, deciding to let the place hopefully thaw on its own.

I was tired of being dictated by this ice. It was time to make a change. I sat on my frozen couch unbothered by the cold as I racked my brain for every piece of information I knew about my powers. Emotion. My power was influenced by emotion. Emotions can't be controlled. Or can they? They can be compressed and hidden. That's what my parents had always taught me. Stress and fear trigger emotion. Stress can be reduced. That's what my therapists had taught me. I needed more knowledge. It was time to seek out something more powerful.

The internet.

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**Yes I said the internet, fo shizzle. The internet taught me 77% of what I know Yo!**

**Sorry I'm a nerd...**

**Well anyway**

**Comment. Give my ask box a visit on tumblr. And thanks if you continue!**

**username: we-dont-need-to-touch**

**:DDDDD**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Frozen and it's characters are property of Disney. Not mine. Sadly.**

**Warnings: Nah**

**Thanks for reading!**

* * *

Classes started in a week and I hadn't even given it a thought. I stayed up late for the past 2 nights typing away on my laptop till my eyes were bloodshot, but I didn't want to sleep and I probably couldn't even if I tried. On my desk lay 6 empty mugs that once held miles too strong, bitter, black coffee that I had forced down my throat. I wasn't quite sure whether it was day or night as my curtains where shut so tightly that even the smallest ray of light couldn't penetrate it. I was passed wired, reading article after article of bullshit myths that did nothing but make me laugh or bang my head on my desk 50 times. Their words where based off of nothing but their own imaginations for the most part. Bits and pieces fit my description but I had virtually nothing to diagnose myself with. The words were beginning to swirl on the glowing screen as I slowly lost my sanity. I tried my best to un-jumble the words dancing tauntingly on the monitor. Suddenly as if God had been looking down at my pitiful being and decided to throw me a bone, the screen zoomed onto a single word. Cryokinesis.

Without hesitation I typed the word into a search engine, I'd never heard of it before. A handful of results appeared and I hovered my mouse over the first link.

"Please," I breathed, before clicking on it. Buffering. Buffering. Buffering. I hadn't noticed I was on my heels monkey style on my chair staring at the computer until my whole room went black. "WHAT THE FUCK!" I screamed falling right off the chair and into a pile of snow I'd conjured up unconsciously in my room. _How?! Why?! Throw me a bone only to yank it away huh God?! _I bounced up furiously brushing the snow off of my clothes and flung the curtains open. It looked to be about early evening, the air was still and it didn't look like any of my neighbors had lost power. I grabbed a pair of furry boots and pulled them on my feet as quickly as possible to find the breaker. I checked every inch of upstairs, nothing. I all but jumped down the stairs and searched the whole downstairs. No breaker. _What the actual fuck? _Without thinking twice I moved my backdoor curtains and slid the glass door open and stepped into my backyard for the first time. I had no idea why a breaker would be kept at the back of a house but I ran out of places to look. I was horrified to see the backyards were barely cut off from one another by low fences any large dog or human could easily get over. I turned to my left to see non-other than those annoying neighbors of mine: Hans and Anna standing at the edge of their side of picket fence. Hans had a horrified look on his face while Anna looked calm and unbothered warming her hands by rubbing her purple mittens together. What was going on where was that mutt?

I let out a yell as I felt something furry and heavy pin me to the ground. My eyes flew open and I shot up straight only to be slobbered on as I saw it was Sven licking my face. I didn't take surprises well and I was at a loss for words at how I managed not to freeze the dog where he stood.

"Sven!" Hans yelled, holding Anna's hand as the pair made their way over to me. "Bad dog! Get off of her!"

Hans pulled the dog off of me and I scrambled to my feet making some distance between myself and my neighbors.

"What the hell!" I shouted "You're dog attacked me!"

I was surprised at myself yelling at them like that and I immediately regretted it, but it was too late to take that back. After all they should control their dog.

Anna giggled "Sorry, I think he must like your smell."

What was with this chick? Is she ever NOT smiling?

I wanted to say more, but I could tell they were genuinely sorry and dropped it.

"Apology accepted." I said bluntly, "Now if you'll excuse me I have a situation to deal with."

I began making my way over to the side of the house to look for the breaker when Hans intervened.

"That situation wouldn't have anything to do with your breaker would it?" he asked nervously.

"What?" I said turning on my heels immediately.

How was I not lashing out ice uncontrollably right now? I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"We were playing with Sven and accidently hit your breaker!" the read head blurted out, "We're really sorry."

_Lord you are seriously testing my patience with these neighbors…_

Hans made his way over to my breaker and flipped it open. "What room did we shut off?" he asked looking at me cautiously.

"Bedroom," I said simply.

He examined the breaker for a brief moment, then flicked a switch.

I looked up to my bedroom window to see a low light beaming from it. Problem solved.

"There." sighed Hans, "fixed."

"Thanks," I say, eager to return inside

"Wait!" Anna says grabbing my arm I hadn't noticed how close she had gotten to me "We actually had something we wanted to ask."

_Move your hand. Move your hand. Move your hand._

"What?" I muttered.

"Hans and I are having a little gathering in an hour or two with two of my cousins and we were wondering if you'd like to join us?"

"I don't know… I'm kind of busy tonight." I said.

Her face fell slightly, "Oh…alright. Well you're still welcome if you change your mind."

"Right…thanks" I said giving the world's fakest smile slowly sliding my arm from her grasp backing up slowly. "Well… see you"

And with that I turn around, feeling their eyes on me as I strode to my backdoor shutting it tightly once I was inside. I practically dashed up the stairs once I was certain I was out of their sight and resumed my previous position in front of my laptop.

_Annoying neighbors are annoying. Remember to keep that in mind._

"Startup you piece of shit!" I shake my laptop as it boots up. After two or three minutes I was back where I left off, circling the links for Cryokinesis until I was brave enough to see if this sign from God was really what it seemed to be. I didn't always believe in him but at this point, I could be persuaded. The article went into detail about the term, citing it as the manipulation of cold/ice and in some cases weather manipulation as it relates to snow/cold. Often triggered by emotion of the

Cryokinetic host. _Is this even real? Have I really just been diagnosed?_ It was insane to think there was anyone else out there like me, so I took this information with a grain of salt. It was easier to believe people loved superheroes too much and were dedicating articles trying to explain their powers. Difference was I wasn't a superhero. None the less I ran with the idea as it described me perfectly and I struggled to keep a straight face when my hands started typing "How to control my Cryokinesis". I almost fell off my chair when there were actual results. _Wow, society you never fail to show me just how bored and retarded you are._ Even if this was all a load of horse shit I clicked on the results informing myself with these fallacies of how to control my power. Though I knew none of it was real it could serve as a comfort and perhaps it would help me learn restraint. The next hour consisted of clicking rapidly whilst compiling a list of things necessary to keep my powers in check. It felt a little silly, but I tried to keep positive, it wasn't like I had much of a choice, no one else could help so why not give the internet a chance. The list had 4 steps so far.

Keep Busy. Idle hands make room for disaster.

Remain Calm. Practice breathing, keep a calm state of mind. Try Yoga?

_Ha. Yoga… why is this always the advice offered?_

Get drunk. Alcohol not only burns going down it keeps things warm. Out the fire.

I felt very wary of that one. Somehow I felt that wasn't a good idea. I kept it on the list only because there weren't many other options. Besides I've always wanted to try it… at least once.

MAKE FRIENDS, don't hide forever. There ARE good people out there.

I erased and rewrote that last one a few times before leaving it be. It would have to be a goal I'd struggle to reach, but I wanted to be normal, to have friends and enjoy my life.

Maybe this really could happen for me, if I could just get over this hump there would be a light at the end of it all.

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**Nice to Elsa being positive huh? What's gonna happen neeexxttt? Keep going! Or not this might suck really bad .**

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	5. Chapter 5

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**Too lazy for the disclaimer. There are no warnings. Enjoy!**

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The side table clock glowed in big bright red numbers "7:08pm". How was it still so early? I held my list in my hand reading it over and over again contemplating all the good it could do for me. I felt proud of myself for taking an initiative for once in my life, but words are only words until you do something about it. I felt and heard my stomach protesting for some nourishment in that moment, I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten. I was just shoveling caffeine into my system occasionally making a bland sandwich here or there. I moved to close my still open blinds so I could go down to the kitchen and figure out my next move when I saw a fiery glow from my window. I could see my entire backyard as well as two of neighbors' yards from where I stood. The light came from the backyard of the annoying twosome who had knocked the power from my room earlier, in the form of a small campfire on their patio. I tried to keep concealed as I peered at the site of their little campfire party, this must have been the gathering they were inviting me to.

I caught sight of Hans and Anna carrying little sandwiches and ingredients for s'mores and hotdogs in two bags setting them down on a table near the fire. Almost on cue my stomach growled more at the sight of it. _Want to put your list to the test Elsa? There's your chance right there._ _And you could get some dinner out of it too_. I wasn't sure I was ready for that just yet… but if I kept making excuses I'd never get a chance. I racked my brain for reasons why I should go over there. Well for one they have fucking s'mores. Secondly what better way to start getting comfortable around people again than by starting with your own neighbors? If anything goes wrong your house is feet away. Thirdly...they seem like nice people aside from the fact that they're dog almost mauled me... TWICE.  
It was settled, I was going. If only my body would cooperate was the question. I pulled on the thickest pair of gloves I could find just in case, then went downstairs and stood at my back door looking out apprehensively. _Come on deep breaths. You can do it_. I slid the door open and stepped out into the cool air before sliding it shut. "Breathe. Step, step. Breathe" I repeated in my head obeying my own commands until I was at the edge of my fence staring into the odd couple's yard. It had a very homey, modern look and feel to it, a barbecue lay against the wall beside their back door and they even had a little patio set up complete with a hammock, love seat and fire pit which was now lit up like an old school campfire. It didn't take long for my presence to be noticed, Hans spotted me and waved. "Hey!" He exclaimed, "Have you decided to join us?"  
Anna was laying on the hammock "who's that babe?" She asked him, never looking up.  
"It's Elsa" he answered.  
She sat up immediately, "Oh my God, really?!" She looked pleased, "Are you spending the evening with us?"  
I wasn't good in these settings but I tried to be humorous, giving them a look with raised eyebrows "Well you invited me didn't you?" I teased.  
Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all.  
"That we did," Hans nodded before walking over to me and offering his hand "here let me help you over the fence."

Glancing at his hand for a moment, I decided against it and held on to the fence for support. "Thanks, but I got it" I tell him pulling myself to sit on the fence.

He lowered his hand, looking amused as I swung my legs over and hopped off the fence and into their yard.

I followed Hans to their patio and took a seat closest to the fire pit, hoping it would somehow melt my powers away. If only. I took in the inviting sight and smells of the outside of their home, how nice it must be to be normal._ Ok Elsa, remember your list. Calm and Friendly._ I looked up at the red head sitting up in the hammock swinging herself far too roughly, I couldn't tell if she was looking at me or not because those obnoxious sunglasses of hers took up most of her face. _Ok be polite_, _say something. _ I cleared my throat, preparing to speak up "H- Hi, Anna," _That was her name right? _"How are you?" my voice sounded far more timid than I wanted to. "I'm great, now that you're here." She responded happily almost immediately, "I'm so glad you could come"

"Well, I finished my chores and umm those s'mores looked really good"

She looked surprised at me.

"How'd you know we had s'mores?"

_You fucking idiot. Now they know you were staring at them. _I think I might have turned 6 shades of red.

"Oh… I umm. I saw you guys bringing them out. Sorry, I know that sounded really creepy." I managed to choke out, my cheeks burning so much I'm surprised I wasn't letting off steam.

She simply laughed "Oh you're a snooper huh? I used to do that all the time, it's totally fine."

"Wh- I'm not a-"

"It's ok! Really, like I said I was a snooper too!"

I'd never felt so embarrassed in my life. I wanted to defend myself further but it didn't seem to make sense and Anna didn't seem offended at all.

She spoke up again before I could take my foot out of my mouth "I'd do the same if I saw s'mores, they're my favorite. I love chocolate"

"I love chocolate too" I said. I couldn't remember the last time I'd shared anything about myself with anyone before. It felt… nice.

She smiled, getting up from the hammock and moving over to me. "Cool! We have something in common. Hans hates chocolate"

As if on command, Hans moved to her and took her hand guiding her to where I was and sat her next to me. "Be careful of the fire, baby" he told her kissing her cheek.

I found it a little odd that Anna rarely moved without Hans on her arm or their fingers intertwined. Maybe they were just in some kind of deep love that I would never understand, either way it made me uncomfortable and I found myself looking away whenever they showed each other affection.

"I am being careful babe, I know where everything is" she pouted slightly before giving him another peck.

_Eww. Get a room. _I tried my best to appear less uncomfortable than I actually was but I knew I must have failed when I heard Hans accost me suddenly.

"Elsa, I'm sorry. How rude of me to not have asked sooner. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Umm, sure. What do you have?" I replied shyly.

"Bring her some of my pink lemonade!" Anna enthused "I made it myself! I know it's a little cold for lemonade but it's really good I promise you!"

I didn't have the heart to reject the offer and simply nodded my head.

"Coming right up," said Hans.

Anna waited until he disappeared into the house to speak again. "So what's your deal?" she asked, looking intensely at me. It wasn't a harsh stare, she was smiling, but it was the first time we had spoken so much and I felt self-conscious under her stare. However, her question didn't make any sense to me and I wasn't sure how to respond. Socializing was a lot harder in practice.

"My deal?" I questioned. "What do you mean?"

"Like where are you from? What do you like to do? Tell me about yourself." She giggled.

Speaking about myself wasn't something I wanted to do, especially since I knew I could never fully be myself with anyone. I clammed up without meaning to looking down at my hands, thinking of my home in Santa Monica, the sun –though I never went outside- Our ranch, the horses…. My family. It hurt me more than I thought it would to think of the past.

Anna noticed my silence, but it didn't discourage her. She stood up and gave me a huge grin before taking a deep breath and speaking in a flamboyant voice, as if she was a host on a cheesy talk show. "Well hi there Miss-Silence-Is-Golden, the name's Anna Sylvera, I'm 18, 5 foot 1, natural red head, born and raised in Toronto, Canada. Only child, but I promise I'm not a brat. I like singing, long walks and building snowmen!"

I was astonished at her ability to talk so quickly, I couldn't help but smile.

"Ok, you're turn!" she exclaimed.

When I didn't answer right away she started prompting me. "I already know your name is Elsa, so what's your last name?"

It was very weird for me to see her trying so hard to reach out to me, usually people would give up by now when I'd start to clam up.

"It's – It's Hale" I answered.

"That's a beautiful name," Anna remarked. "I like it. And how old are you?"

"I'm almost 21."

"That's a cool age to be! Good for you! Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

It was hard to think about Kristoff, I missed him so much.

"Yeah…. I have a brother" I breathed, rubbing my chilly hands together.

"Oh? Older or younger?"

"Younger. He's a little older than you. 19."

"I'd love to meet him, do you live alone?"  
"Umm yeah. My brother left a few days ago"

"Oh so are you from around here?" she was genuinely interested in what I had to say.

"No. My umm… My family lives in Santa Monica, California. That's where I'm from."

"Oh my Gosh! That's crazy! You have to tell me about California, it seems so fun there! The sun, the people! I've always wanted to go."

"It's ok I guess"

"Why'd you move from sunny California to this ice box?"

_Because my parents hate me._

"School. I liked the university here, besides. The cold doesn't bother me"

I had a feeling Anna would have never stopped with the questions if Hans didn't resurface with two pink drinks in his hands.

"At least it's not snowing. It'd make the lemonade seem a lot colder." He said handing me a glass. "Here you go."

"Thanks" I tell him, taking the glass between my gloves and sipping the lemonade. It was sweet but not to the point that it was overpowering, I'd never tasted home-made lemonade that was actually sweetened well. "It's delicious, Anna"

"Why, thank you" she smiled.

Hans took a seat next to Anna, half feeding her the lemonade before taking a sip himself.

"So Hans, Elsa was just telling me she's from Santa Monica" Anna disclosed.

Hans' eyebrows shot up for a moment, eyeing me. "Oh really?" he said, "I've been there once or twice. It's a beautiful place."

"Yeah it is," I say simply.

There was an awkward silence that wasn't kept for very long when I decided to ask Hans a question. It was out of my character to ever question people, but I figured it would keep the spotlight off of me.

"If you don't mind my asking…" I probed, "How exactly did you two meet?"

"It's not much to tell really," Hans explained "I've known Anna for years, I just stalked her in school until she agreed to go out with me"

"He made notes and stuck them on my locker every day for a year," Anna laughed. "It was really cute actually."

"And when her then boyfriend dumped her like a sack of potatoes I went in for the kill"

"And 3 years strong we're still standing together" Anna sighed and Hans took her hand looking lovingly into her eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without him"

_Sorry I asked. _"That's really sweet" I lied.

"Yeah, she's the light of my life" Hans exhaled.

Suddenly, there was a sound of phone ringing that broke the silence and the intense eye conversation the two lovesick birds seemed to be having and I thanked God for it.

Hans pulled out the phone and excused himself to answer it, instructing me to start helping myself to the food he had brought out with the lemonade.

I grabbed a hotdog and offered one to Anna who remained sitting staring into space it seemed.

"Thanks," she bubbled taking the hotdog and biting it.

_Finally something other than caffeine and random cold sandwiches._

"Aww man!" exclaimed Hans, returning to the campfire.

"What is it honey?" inquired Anna.

"Your cousin, Punzie and Flynn aren't coming over anymore."

"What?!" Anna wailed giving a large sad sigh. "Why?"

"Apparently they have food-poisoning."

"Oh God, What am I going to do tomorrow I'm have to go to Ottawa tomorrow."

I continued eating my food, listening in on their predicament, having a bad feeling about it.

"I can stay here alone, Hans. I'll be fine."

"Like hell you will, I'm not comfortable with that Anna."

_Ummm the fuck? It's not like she's 5. My God these people were weird. Just don't say anything._

"Oh, geez. Who am I gonna ask now? Where's Merida?" Hans fretted, he appeared to be scrolling through the contacts on his phone.

"Visiting her parents in Scotland." Anna reported "I don't need a babysitter"

_Don't volunteer._

"There has to be someone," he continued.

Anna's face fell and it was hard to look at her. _You barely know her. Don't volunteer._

"Hans, stop treating me like a child." She protested.

_Don't fucking volunteer._

I was fighting with my conscience, I wanted to help but I didn't know if I could handle it.

"Anna, seriously I don't think it's a good idea…" he continued

_Don't!_

I became very aware of the list in my pocket, almost as if it were burning up sending shots of heat throughout my veins. "Make friends" was bolding itself a million times over on the list in my mind. I couldn't fight it.

"I… Umm… I could…. You know," I stuttered. "I'm right next door."

_Fuck._

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	6. Chapter 6

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. God knows when I'll do another if anyone likes it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Frozen and it's characters.**

**Warnings: ehh... not really.**

**Enjoy!**

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_Way to go retard. Good fucking job._

Hans was staring incredulously at me, meanwhile Anna looked pleased and kept nodding at Hans, following my little outburst.

"Are- Are you sure?" Hans spoke up, looking me up and down, which I didn't appreciate at all.

_Why the fuck did you have to offer?_

"Umm… yeah it's no problem," I said "You just want to make sure she's not… err… home alone?"

"He's going to Ottawa for the day and thinks I'm gonna burn down the house or something. It's stupid I know" Anna piped up, seeming embarrassed by the whole thing.

"I just want to be certain you're ok, in my absence" Hans reasoned, lifting her chin slightly to face him and kissing her softly on the lips.

_Jesus, Am I in a soap opera?_

"I know…" she pouted when they came up for air "but you see, Elsa will be right next door."

He looked apprehensive but agreed. "Ok," he sighed, "Thank you Elsa, just be mindful of her"

"Uhhh… yeah, I will" I muttered, feeling rather odd about the whole arrangement.

The rest of the night felt slightly awkward, the thought of "babysitting" someone dwelling on my mind. Anna's chattering, drowned out most of my awkward vibes and I learned more about them during it. Hans was a police officer and he moved back and forth between Ottawa and Toronto at least once a week. There was a time when he would take her back and forth but it was proving to be too much for her, so he settled for making sure he'd make it home to her every night he'd have to travel. They had the feel of a couple much older, than they actually were. Hans was 22 and Anna was 18. Anna's explained her parents were sort of like hippies and allowed their daughter to move in with Hans when she was 16. It seemed very foreign to me for people so young to already be living together and have such strong committed feelings towards one another.

At one point in the night, Hans and I played a little with their dog Sven, tossing Frisbee for him while Anna watched. I tried my best to push the thoughts of what the next morning would bring to the back of my mind and enjoy the little normalcy I was experiencing for the first time in forever.

After roasting marshmallows and eating some heaven sent s'mores I said my goodbyes, hopped over the fence and returned home.

I dragged myself up the stairs, kicked my boots off and I collapsed onto my bed, feeling drained from the visit with my neighbors. Funny enough it wasn't as torturous as I thought it would be, I was feeling good about myself until I took my gloves off for the first time since I'd left the house. They were completely blue and throbbing, how had I not noticed before? I chalked it up to social anxiety, as the reason for my condition. I hadn't seen them this blue since, my Aunt Hilda visited my family and me 4 years ago, when she questioned me on how my life was going for almost an hour. I knew they'd return to normal once I'd regained some quiet time, so I decided to go to bed and sleep it off. Tomorrow would be an interesting day and I'd need the rest.

Daylight rolled around faster than I expected, I could see the room had been lit up by the sun, even through the thick covers I was buried under. I kept forgetting to close those blinds, that's what they were there for. I poked my head out from the covers to glance at my clock. "11:03am". I thought Hans would have left by now? I was expecting him to give me some sort of wakeup call seeing as how overprotective he was with Anna. But I was glad he didn't, less stress for me. I rose slowly and dragged myself over to the window to take a look over at their house. Hans' car was gone. So he must have already been gone. I'll go over there to check on her later, I guess. Why would an 18 year old need a babysitter anyway? It was beyond strange. She did seem a tad on the childish side but I hardly thought she was looking for a father figure for herself in her relationship with Hans.

I decided to take my time and stepped into the bathroom to make myself presentable. I look at myself in the mirror for the first time in quite some time. My blonde hair is a mess sticking out in every direction and my eyes look vacant staring back myself. I wash my face and brush my teeth before stepping into the shower, feeling the cold water splash against my already cold body. I never liked hot water to begin with, it feels like I'm melting myself away even though it's not the case at all. I lather my skin in sweet smelling coconut soap and wash my hair. I'd been so preoccupied, I'd forgotten all about taking care of myself. I must have looked a mess last night. When I was done I wrapped a towel around myself not bothering to get dressed. Instead I was going to actually make myself some breakfast. And hey, this was my house. I didn't have to wear clothes if I didn't feel like it.

I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen where I began looking in the fridge for something to prepare. Something felt off to me, but I wasn't sure what, like there was a presence. I took out some eggs and a jug of milk and turned to set them on my counter when I saw a pair of hands resting on them.

"WHAAAAAT THE FUCK!" I screamed, the eggs and milk flying out of my hands and onto the floor creating a huge mess. There was a person sitting in at my counter!  
I grabbed a frying pan and armed myself with it looking at the intruder properly the first time.

It was Anna. She had a complacent, unfazed look on her face which baffled me completely.  
"Hi! Elsa," she exclaimed.  
Wait a second. I'm in my fucking towel. Wait a minute... Huh? Where is?  
In my panic I hadn't noticed my towel had fallen off and was laying on a puddle of milk and cracked eggs on the floor behind me. OH SHIT! I scrambled to find something to cover myself with, but Anna was still staring at me get an eyeful of my naked body. My entire face went beet red and I yelled "ANNA?! What the fuck are you doing? Don't look at me!"  
She looked confused. Never taking her eyes off of me as I almost tore my oven handle off taking the cloth that was hanging on it to cover myself.  
"Huh?" She said.  
"You're still looking! What the fuck? Stop! Are you some kind of pervert?!" I screamed.  
"Pervert? What are you talking about?" She said.  
"I'm fucking naked what are you doing?!"  
"Wh-?"  
"Anna you're still looking! Oh my fucking god" I struggled to keep myself covered with the tiny cloth moving away from her and grabbing a towel from the powder room  
To my horror, she started laughing.  
"You really don't know do you?" She said.  
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" I was dumbfounded at her blatant disregard for even an apology. Was this really happening right now? I could feel my fingers burning ready to shoot ice crystals around the room.  
"I'm not looking at you, Elsa" she said simply, all while staring me dead in the face.  
"You're still doing it now" I shot back incredulously. My face turning several shades of red.  
"I'm not!" She insisted, laughing "I can't"  
"Why are you fucking laughing?!"  
"Elsa... I'm blind."

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**Did you see that coming? Did ya Did ya Did ya?!**

**God I hope not cuz it was really annoying to hide that .**

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	7. Chapter 7

**Hi everyone!**

**Just wanted to say thank you so much for the warm response to "Clarity". I'm so grateful for all your feedback, good or bad. Thanks also for your patience, as I have been pretty distracted in updating. I'm going to try to make updating a weekly (or earlier) thing.**

**Sorry if this is still too slow for some of your liking but I really enjoy taking my time with progression.**

**I hope you enjoy the chapter and I'll try to get the next one up as soon as possible! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen and it's characters as much as I want to.**

**Warnings: None.**

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_Blind. How could you not notice something so obvious? You're just a scholar aren't you Elsa? You ought to drop out of college now.  
_  
The mop made a sloppy, wet noise as I moved it from a bucket and onto the floor to clean the mess I'd made a few minutes ago. Anna was still sitting at my counter staring at nothing, fiddling with her fingers. I couldn't look at her, I felt beyond mortified after the vicious embarrassment I had just endured. Following her little announcement, I was only able to utter a few quick words to let her know I was going upstairs before sprinting away from the situation. I had gone to my room blasting cold shards all around it until it was beyond recognition. The walls suffered frost damage and jagged icicles formed on the ceiling. After throwing some clothes and gloves on and making sure my room was locked tight I had managed to calm myself down enough to return. The spill I was mopping wasn't getting any better and I was beginning to get frustrated, slapping the heavy mop over the mess again.

"I don't think you're doing it right," Anna piped up.  
"Excuse me?" I said confused. _How would you know? You're blind.  
_She chuckled "I may be blind, but I know what an over soaked mop sounds like, Elsa."  
"Oh, no I didn't mean to make it sound like that." I apologized.  
"I didn't think you did." Her tone was reassuring "Typically when you clean a mess, the mop needs to be wrung out a little."  
Now I felt silly. Examining it again it seemed my mop was only adding water to the messy puddle_. Wow, you are a rare breed of retarded. Can I get you a medal or something?  
_"Oh," I blush, "yeah, you're right. Thanks"  
"What did you spill?"  
"Milk and eggs…"  
"Was it my fault?"  
"Umm... Well you err surprised me..."  
"Yeah, about that..." Anna started "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to"  
"What's done is done I guess. How did you get in here anyway?"  
"You left your door open, and Hans and I came over to wake you but you were asleep and..."  
My eyes grew wide at the thought of them being upstairs trying to wake me.  
"You went upstairs?!" I interrupted in a panicked tone.  
"No," Anna's expression changed to that of an uncomfortable one. "At least, I didn't. Hans sat me here, wherever here is..." she began feeling the counter she sat at probably trying to make sense of her surroundings. "And I think he knocked on your door but he didn't go in your room. He gave me this paper to give you."  
She went into her sweater's pocket and handed me a tiny paper. It had Hans' cell number printed on it and a little note thanking me for watching Anna and that he'd be back around 9pm.

"I promise you I haven't touched anything if that's what you're worried about." Anna declared "I haven't moved from here. I've never been in your house before so I don't know the feel of it and I'd hate to break something."  
I didn't like the way that sounded, it made me feel guilty for yelling at her. As much as I was dreading having to entertain someone in my domain all day I didn't want her to feel like I thought she was a thief or something.  
"No, I'm sorry. It's ok. I wasn't worried about that at all."  
"Oh good" she sighed, her expression relaxing and that smile of hers returning.

It was then that I noticed she wasn't wearing her usual, obnoxiously large sunglasses, revealing her eyes to me for the first time. They were grey and slightly clouded with tiny swirls of blue, focusing on nothing but appearing to be looking right at me. How could I not have noticed? There were so many clues. Looking at her apparel now reinforced the first one. Nothing matched, her pants were green, her sweater was yellow and she had on a pair of sparkly purple UGG boots. The second clue were those sunglasses. Then there was the fact that Hans was glued to her helping her do everything, which explained his overprotectiveness. The last clue was the loyalty that mutt of theirs showed to Anna. He must have been her guide dog.

Keeping one hand on the mop, I raised my other one slightly in front of her face to see if there would be a response. There wasn't. Her eyes never moved.  
"Were you waving your hand in front of my face, just now?" She asked.  
Hearing her voice made me jump slightly and pull my hand away. I felt my cheeks turning red. How'd she know?  
"…No"  
"I'm pretty sure you were. I'm blind, not crazy," she answered never losing the smile on her face.  
This was her second reference to her blindness, and it was riding on my conscience.  
"I honestly didn't know" I replied, finally choosing to address the situation.  
"Didn't know what?"  
"That you were blind." I admit, embarrassed at my utter ignorance.  
"That's usually the first thing people notice about me" she said.  
"Sorry." I said swallowing the lump in my throat "You know for calling you a pervert and yelling"  
"Don't worry about it. Actually it's kind of nice that you didn't notice I was blind."  
"Really?" I give her a strange look, grateful she couldn't see it.  
"Yeah," she smiles "That just means you saw me as a person and not as a handicap."  
I didn't know how to respond to that so I just responded with a simple "That's good then," a small smile forming on my lips at the words.

It became silent then with only the sounds of my movements as I put the mop away and began making simple breakfast of eggs and bacon, feeling incredibly self-conscious with Anna just sitting there. I had gotten into a little rhythm moving around the kitchen exploring it for the first time, discovering where everything was kept, meanwhile Anna's words stuck in my mind. The fact that she could interpret my complete ignorance to her blindness as something kind was remarkable. I was just about finished fixing two plates of food when suddenly Anna's voice sounded the room again.

"So were you really naked?" Anna blurted out of nowhere.  
I was so shocked I almost dropped my spatula in the hot oil, turning to look at the girl. She had a completely neutral look on her face, like she'd just asked me something as normal as what my favorite color was.  
"Are you for real?!" my face was burning red.  
"Yes." She said seriously.  
"I…I...Ugh! Just shut up!" I turn my back on her removing the bacon from the pan and onto a plate.  
"I'll take that as a yes," she grinned.  
"Do you want some breakfast or not?" I shot back, blushing violently.  
"Yes please!" She replied happily.  
"Here." I say a little abruptly, trying to suppress the sudden embarrassment by placing a plate in front of her.

I stare curiously at Anna, unsure of what to do. How does one eat without seeing? Should I do something? To my surprise, Anna simply feels around carefully for the fork before grasping it and beginning to eat.  
"Oh you made bacon!" Her voice is muffled by her full mouth. "It's great, thank you!"  
"You're welcome" I say simply, still watching in amazement.  
She didn't hesitate with her movements, having perfect control over the fork as it made trips from the plate to her mouth. You'd think she'd be more cautious taking food from a stranger, especially when you can't see what it is you're eating.  
I finished my breakfast at the same time she did, so I grabbed both plates and cleaned them as slowly as possible. What was I supposed to do with a blind girl for 8 hours?

Anna began shifting in her seat, appearing delighted when she discovered it could spin around. "Where am I sitting Elsa? I'm pretty sure it's a counter and a bar stool but you tell me," she asked.  
"Your guess is right. Why?"  
"It's getting uncomfortable with my legs not touching the ground is all"  
"Would you like to sit on the couch?" I say looking around to ensure that everything had thawed properly from the time I froze it over on the day of our first meeting.

"Actually," she began "Would you mind if I took a feel around?"  
It was a weird but understandable choice of words, I tried to sound as plain as possible when I answered "Sure." I didn't want to make her blindness a big clouding issue that dictated the day, but it was difficult. As much as I would have loved to send her straight back to her house – which was my original plan – her blindness was exactly what was prohibiting me from doing so. I knew what it felt like to feel like a burden and I didn't want to her to feel that way, despite my increasing anxiety.

She took hold of the counter and eased herself off the stool carefully till her boots touched the ground. "Just guide me a little," she requested, holding out her hand for me to grasp, "I don't want to break anything." I looked at her hand for a moment, opting against it.

"Just move forward, there's nothing there." I instructed, moving several feet in front of her, watching.

She dropped her hand as soon as she processed that I had no intention of taking it, moving forward slowly. She looked sadly ahead at the wall she was approaching, though she'd never know it. I blame my curtness for the sudden drop in her bubbliness, but I couldn't risk any physical touch. My hands hidden by my thick gloves were like always freezing and a much paler blue in comparison to last night.

"Put your hands out in front of you," I said, "There's a wall there"

Her fingers reached out for the wall, making contact in the nick of time. She traced the wall with one hand and held out the other in front of her as she moved along it.

"What color are the walls?" she asked.

"Does it matter?"

She looked down at the floor for a moment and I hated myself.

_Why the fuck would you say that?! I think she knows she's blind!_

"I like to paint mental pictures for myself. It makes everything easier" she says picking up her head smiling, despite my snarky comment.

_Can't you do anything right? You're quite possibly the most insensitive person on the planet. And she's still smiling even though you're being rude as fuck. I hope you feel like shit._

"Blue." I say moving to sit on the couch never taking my eyes off of Anna who was still trailing along the wall touching everything she came in contact with. I didn't like any part of this.

"Is that you're favorite color?"

"I guess. It fits my description at least"

"And what's that?" _Cold, unfeeling, isolating…incapable._

"Turn right and walk forward. You're almost at the couch," I called out, noticing she was about to crash into a wall.

She followed my instructions but kept pressing me to answer the question I had ignored.

"I don't know. Just forget it" I snap.

"Cold?" _Fuck you._

My eyes widened, feeling unreasonably angry at her guess. She had approached the couch by then tapping it which made me jump up and move from it.

"Sit. You're at the couch."

She felt around until she was certain then sat daintily on the couch.

"I mean you're a little cold sometimes but I don't think anything of it," she said,

_Stop talking._

"When people act that way towards others it's because there's something behind it. So I don't blame you one bit... Or maybe I'm just annoying." She babbled on.

_You are._

_Stop talking._

I look incredulously at her. What was all this about? I barely knew the girl and she was here in my house making assumptions about me.

_ I mean they're correct assumptions but she needs to shut up now._

I was starting to get really annoyed, but kept my temper under control as best I could.

"Look," I say as calmly as I can manage, "I'm really not comfortable talking so frankly about this right now… so…"

I didn't need to explain further she got the message.

"Oh. I'm sorry…again. I just keep making you uncomfortable in your own house don't I?" she apologized.

I didn't answer.

"I'm really sorry" she repeated in a more pleading tone that only made me even more uncomfortable.

"It's fine" I say quickly turning the television on to create some noise in the still room, "Just… is there anything I can get you or something?"

She noticed the sounds of the television show immediately turning her head in its direction. "No thanks," she replied, "But I see you have Showtime! I'll be fine here. Shameless is on!"

It was foreign to me, seeing a blind girl get so excited over the sounds of a television show. I'd be annoyed beyond reason to only hear a show and not actually watch it but at least it was getting her attention.

"Well if you need anything… Let me know I'll be within earshot."

She was already so engrossed in the show she only nodded.

I wasted no time stepping away feeling overwhelmed already and it was barely 1pm. I sat on my staircase and buried my head in my hands.

Please… Can today just be over?

* * *

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